Jack, your writing is excellent. 99% of recovering alcoholics want to die on what we call, "dry sheets." We want to die sober. Sounds like Ray was in early recovery. I'm sure his wife did not understand. She meant well. However, your story is true and authentic. As a hospice RN and a person in recovery, your story touched me in so many ways. What a punch in the gut, to finally be free from the addiction of alcohol and to be told you are terminal with little time left. Rather than numb oneself with alcohol, sobriety allows one to cherish with a clear mind, every day, one day at a time. We never want to be what we once were. There is so much to discuss here related to this story. Dry those tears oh compassionate and loving soul. We have a Higher Power, most of us call, God. If I could, I would recommend a book called, "Alcoholics Anonymous," that has brought many up from the hell of alcoholism into a new life.
I would not expect you nor would i want anyone to know what it's like to be an alcoholic who is powerless over the obsession to drink into oblivion, once he/she takes the first drink. Alcoholism is a disease, so little understood by those who are not alcoholic. In some people, I think alcoholism is their terminal illness as it is the cause of many maladies, chronic and terminal such as, Cirrhosis, various cancers and accidental deaths. As you mentioned, it destroys families and other relationships. In recovery and sobriety, there exists many varieties of healing in the realm of, spiritual, mental, emotional and physical. Sadly, at times, the damage is too great.
Jack, I have cared for many people who have succumbed to the effects of alcoholic drinking. Perhaps I was led to these individuals because, how could I not have empathy and I refuse to judge another human being who did not choose alcoholism, but for reasons little known, crossed the line from social drinking to alcoholism. I hope that you did not mind me sharing. Your story is powerful. I hope Ray and his family have found peace and I know they will, especially with a friend like you.
Patsy
