Both my parents were alcoholic. My mom the worst. She was violent and my dad never home and chasing women a good bit of his time. Not quite sure how but I turned to alcohol and drugs at the age of 11. There was nothing or no one to stop me. For a few brief hours I would feel no pain. I drank to pass out. If I had to choose a drug of choice, it would have been general anesthesia. At the age of 19, I was finished, with the exception of a one night stand after 7 years of complete sobriety. My father got sober and we had a closer relationship until he was killed in a car accident at around 8 years in his recovery. That seemed to blow the lid off all the crap inside me. I tried to numb the pain again with that one night stand to no avail. My mom continues to drink but it is monitored by my sister who she lives with. It has been hard to forgive them but it is something required by my spiritual self to have any peace. Since starting recovery I have been in therapy off and on for the past 40 years almost. Often times I just want to die because the pain still comes and goes. In my view, alcoholism or addiction is the very worst thing that can happen to a family. God bless all who are affected.

Patsy, 10/22/2019